Have you felt something wanting in your relationship lately?
A feeling that things are not quite the same?
All you seem to be doing is the mundane tasks of daily existence.
The vibrancy and positivity that was the byword of your relationship have been lost.
You are not alone in this situation.
An increasing number of couples are finding themselves in this place. Modern lifestyles come with a lot of pressure. A large number of couples are working at jobs that are demanding. Consequently, stress has become an integral part of living these days.
Stressors come in many forms, from work to finances to balancing work-home life. Small issues that really are non-issues are becoming non-negotiable hurdles and points of contention in such situations. ‘Why did she not respond to my message?’ ‘How can he be so rude?’ ‘Am I supposed to take care of every aspect?’ ‘Is she the only one working?’ What happens is that all of this takes a toll on the most beautiful thing you started with – your relationship.
We take a look at how stress negatively affects relationships:
1. Breakdown of communication
THE most important aspect of any relationship is the ability and willingness to communicate. Unfortunately, it is also one of the most vulnerable areas when one or both partners are feeling stressed. In most cases, the stressed partner goes into a shell, trying to grapple with the various issues at hand.
This leads to the other partner nagging or sulking, imagining it to be a personal slight. In some cases, the stress leads to venting out in an aggressive fashion that can also be a big put-off. Sadly, it is a vicious cycle which leads to even less communication and withdrawn partners, thus putting immense pressure on the relationship.
With the breakdown of communication comes both real and imagined slights, often more of the latter. ‘She is not even pretending to listen to me.’ “Why is he so angry all the time?’ etc. We tend to attribute reasons where none exist. Such a situation is a direct result of stress. Again, a vicious circle where out of the blue, it is the person we love most who comes to bear the brunt of it, and when they feel hurt and retract into themselves, there is more stress and strain placed on the relationship.
3. Physical and mental health problems
Overly stressed people are prone to mental imbalances as well as physical manifestations. Neither bodes well towards a sustainable relationship. The body is a temple and needs to be loved and pampered. As always, the loved one, your partner is the first one affected when you are not enjoying internal wellness. It is unfair towards them and creates issues in what ought to be a fulfilling relationship.
4. Erosion of empathy
‘I am feeling rather unwell, please help with the laundry today’. Or some other equally regular request that one would have gladly helped with can seem a challenge under stress. Because you are stressed yourself you feel you are the one who deserves empathy, pampering even, rather than having to help out.
This is not the ideal situation for a relationship to flourish. Carrying over problems from the workplace into the home situation and letting it get the better of your interactions is a mistake most of us make. Neither partner is willing to understand the opposite point of view because they are both stressed.
5. Less intimacy
Stress and its resultant effects can unfortunately lead to isolation. So much so that things that ought to come naturally like hugging and holding hands are also shied away from. One tends to curl up within oneself, clam up and isolate the very person who ought to matter the most. This eventually can lead to intimacy issues. Ultimately it is the relationship that will suffer when this happens.
How does one handle this monster called ‘stress’?
We have to begin by accepting that stress is integral to modern day living. The only way out is to equip oneself with coping tools. The ability to let go of stressors or to deal with them effectively is vital. At the end of the day, it is the people near and dear to you who will ultimately matter.
InnerCamp propagates wellness and inner happiness. Empower yourself with guidance from our programs towards positivity and holistic fulfilment in order to create sustainable relationships.
Would you like to learn new techniques to cope with stress? Schedule today a free coaching session with us here.