Joanne is absolutely fine, or at least that’s what the people around her see. She has a great job that takes up most of her time, she has a family that relies on her. She is an example of a strong woman that others can admire, and Joanne herself takes pride in not showing others her weakeness. Her mother taught her to put on a strong facade, and so Joanne feels that she shouldn’t cry or complain, especially not in front of others.
But despite her truly strong personality and success, Joanne just doesn’t feel like she is happy.
But why? The reason can be found in vulnerability. Joanne doesn’t let herself be vulnerable because she, like many, has been taught that vulnerable is a bad thing to be. This is a teaching that makes many suffer the same things Joanne is going through.
Let’s consider the true power of vulnerability.
We are taught that vulnerability signifies weakness, however, in reality, it shows authenticity. We all have feelings, problems, and experiences that we would like to share because this would enable us to receive help and support.
For example, if Joanne was able to share her unhappiness with her husband and her friends, she may receive a lot of emotional support from these people. As she chooses to maintain her image of strength, others don’t realize that she needs help and, thus, don’t give it to her. Joanne feels alone and isolated in her problems because she doesn’t feel that she can share them with others, which means she is unable to connect with those who are dealing with a similar things.
Joanne was taught, like many, that showing vulnerability means giving others power over oneself. There is some truth to this. A show of vulnerability indicates trust and an ill-intentioned person might take advantage of that. However, the vast majortiy of people do not have bad intentions. They have their own desire for connection, they want to engage emotionally with someone who is giving them the opportunity.
A show of vulnerability is an invitation to relate and to become closer. It fosters deeper connections that allow us to give each other support, love, and care.
A life without vulnerability might sound appealing but in reality it is a life in isolation. Any close relationship requires us that we open ourselves a little to the other and let them in, which makes us vulnerable. If we embrace it, we become much more able to create deep and satisfying relationships and to receive the love we want from others. It helps us be authentic and reveal our true self in a way that makes us happier.
Many people struggle with vulnerability.
If you are facing a similar issue or can identify in your life toxic beliefs about weakness and strength, coaching may help you a lot. We offer a free session to you to talk about vulnerability and the power it can give you.