There is no doubt that being satisfied in a relationship has a lot to do with having a fulfilling sexual life, as we are hardwired to use moments of erotic pleasure to create an intimate bond with our partner. Taking intimacy outside the bedroom can be a powerful way to create a deeper connection within your relationship.
Practice 1: Sharing Intimate Details about your Connection
What better way to make the connection feel stronger than by talking about it? Words can be powerful, adding a more tangible reality to what the two of you already have. Most couples would rather shy away from such moments though, not necessarily because they are not pleased about the relationship. Some are just following the advice that you must keep a few things to yourself. Don’t give 100%: isn’t that what people say?
The problem with this is that yes, you may not get as hurt – but you are also not making a genuine connection. Real intimacy begins with little confessions. What are the five – or more – things that you enjoy about your relationship? These little tidbits can strengthen the bond between the two of you, as you celebrate recognition and appreciation. Generously share these with your partner.
Practice 1 is all about the power of conversation – of words.
Practice 2: Check Inside Yourself
How can you be intimate with someone when you don’t know yourself yet? Every day, ask yourself a few questions to help you recognize your motivations, fears, and desires. As you get to know yourself better, you will likely feel more comfortable about revealing yourself to someone else. Tell your partner you are doing this and encourage him/her to do the same. This way, both of you are likely to be more willing to uncover each other spiritually.
The questions that you ask yourself do not have to include your partner. It is better if you can discover who you are, with each of these self-examination questions. Yes, we think we know ourselves – but just how much? Fully knowing yourself will allow you to practice self-love more authentically. What makes you joyful? What motivates you towards success? What angers you? Self-awareness is a continuous journey and you can only reach your full potential once you know yourself.
You can also use meditation and yoga to provide you with a calm and blank slate that you can use to fill with your thoughts and breakthroughs.
Practice 2 is about the power of knowing yourself – of self-discovery and examination.
Practice 3: Perform a Shadow Check
The shadow check explores the possibility of hidden problems and can be used to talk about issues.
Couples sometimes descend into petty arguments when there is no control in discussions. With Practice 3, each person gets a few minutes to talk without interruptions. He/she gets to say what he/she feels is wrong about the current state of the relationship. Their partner must be willing to listen and understand the problems raised and agree to receive the information with an open mind. His/her response should not be an attack on Partner #1’s statements, but rather be about their own observations about the relationship.
This relationship checking exercise should not take a long time. There should be a set time for doing so. It is not a time to backtrack faults, but rather a moment to articulate current issues. It is not about blame. A shadow check should be undertaken regularly so that both partners know where each of them is in the relationship. Are they still in sync, or are they starting to drift apart without even knowing it?
Practice 3 is about the power of communication and caring enough to want to know what the other person feels and thinks.
Practice 4: Consciously Connect with Each Other’s Bodies
Most people are more aware of Practice 4, which is the sensual connection. You have probably heard about tantric sex. Some people get caught up in the “sex” part of the equation. You may think, “why is there a need for this?” People often think that as long as it feels good, things should be sufficient under the sheets. But that is where the problem lies, with the rushed fumbling and the race towards completion. Are you doing all that to feel something? What about your partner? How do you know he/she feels pleasure too?
With tantric sensuality, you focus on each part of your partner’s body and you see him/her as a god or goddess. You connect your touch to what the other can possibly feel. Instead of making all the sensations rush to you, you have one focal point at a time. If you are kissing, focus on your lips and their movements. The rest of the body has to wait. You must also know when to give and when to receive. If it is your turn to be the giver, take those hands and place them on different spots of your partner’s body. While you may want to be touched at that given moment, focus on giving pleasure. You will also get your turn.
Practice 4 is all about the power of connecting the body, mind, and soul. This connection not only melds your bodies into one but also creates a deeper bond between your minds and souls.
At this point, you can see how various tantric practices can strengthen a crucial part of a relationship. Both you and your partner need to have a willingness to be laid bare and connect and that is intimacy.
Tantra plays a considerable role in making connections, not just with a partner but also with yourself.
Wouldn’t you like to be in the habit of making soulful connections? Wouldn’t you want to help people live to their fullest? You may visit us to begin a comprehensive Tantra Method Teacher training. There you will find information about our tantra teacher training.