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December 1, 2022WHAT IS THE EGO?
The ego refers to the extent one thinks highly of one’s self, having something to do with being self-centered or egotistical. Another common thought pattern regarding the ego relates to the “I” that is capable of referencing the self and making decisions.
Mostly from the work of Sigmund Freud the concept of “ego” crept into the psychological world. In his tripartite model of the mind (id, ego, superego), the ego served as a psychological apparatus that regulated the animalistic desires or impulses of the “id” and the moral and social standards of the “superego”. In other words, the ego serves to ease the tension between the two for one to be a socially accepted functional person in society.
However, a more modern concept of the ego (but still related to Freud’s theory) considers it as a self-consciousness system involving two interrelated parts (reflective self and motivating self) that overall affect one’s ego functioning. As the name suggests the reflective self part, enables self-reflective awareness and the capacity to justify one’s actions to self and others. In other words, it relates to the concept of a person as an entity that can self-reflect and give accounts for their actions. This ability is closely connected to the cognitive portion of the ego. The other part, the motivating self, plays a central role in our lives (as argued by Elliot Aronson) as it serves to self-justify ourselves wherein the ego tries to maintain a consistent, justifiable place in the world. Furthermore, the unified theory indicates that the motivating self acts as the interpreter system (or a mental organ of justification) that functions and makes sure that you are in a justified state of being by developing explanations for your actions in the context of justification. Putting the two parts together makes up the self-consciousness system that reflects on one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions (reflective self) and inhibits or legitimises them to one’s self and others (motivating self).
EGO FUNCTIONING
The ego is similar to what is meant by the term identity, and ego functioning refers to the components of the self-consciousness system that directly relate to mental health. Furthermore, ego functioning is one of the important elements to consider in understanding an individual’s personality and the ways they operate in the world.
Gregg Henriques, a clinician and professor, demonstrates six basic elements that go into ego functioning. These are:
LIMITATIONS OF THE EGO
However, the ego is much more complex and consists of other areas. As can be noted from the previous section, limitations exist of the ego-mind that stops an individual from fulfilling their life. An instance of this would be when a change in one’s life is desired. When shown the opportunity for this, many fear it or even resist it. As Ronald Alexander explains, there are five basic payoffs when one resists. These are: avoiding the unknown, avoiding judgment, avoiding failure, avoiding success, and avoiding feelings of guilt. There is a fear that venturing into the unknown will bring about painful secrets of the self or the world that we have kept hidden from ourselves. Avoiding judgement, sensing disapproval and fearing abandonment causes us to essentially conform to a mould that may not be for us. Furthermore, avoiding failure and avoiding success is where we tend to overestimate the risk we’re taking and imagine the worst possible case scenario. Lastly, avoiding feelings of guilt arise because we’re contradicting what others think we should or shouldn’t be doing with our lives.
All of these payoffs result in our resistance to change that overall make us stagnant in our lives. However, exploring and dissolving the deeply rooted resistance to change frees one from the burden of creating avoidance behaviours and repressing anxiety and fear about that change.
STRENGTHEN OR SHRINK?
So, do our egos need strengthening or shrinking? It is important to understand, there is a major difference between a strong ego and a big ego.
To expand on this distinction, Leon Seltzer explains that “people with strong egos can be generally viewed as self-confident; secure and emotionally stable; flexible, adaptive, and able to cope well with everyday stresses and frustrations; mature, independent, and resourceful; and authentic. In contrast, those with big egos lack inner stability and are more easily upset; tend to be rigid, reactive, dogmatic, and egocentric; simulate self-confidence (rather than truly possess it); display arrogance and a narcissistic sense of entitlement; show deficits in personal integrity; and, perhaps more telling than anything else, demonstrate when feeling threatened, a surprising weakness, even fragility. Although such egos may, indeed, be “oversized”, their actual bigness or stature has largely to do with ego-inflation vs. any real ego strength.”
Furthermore, the many unflattering descriptions of people with big egos signify their need to make up for a fundamental lack of true self-esteem and indirectly provide insight into their acutely felt weaknesses or shortcomings.
As stated, our egos can be essentially viewed as the image we hold of ourselves, our identity. If we have a big ego, we view ourselves self-delusively, according to an ideal going beyond our actual reality. In such cases, it’s clear that our ego is in need of significant “shrinking” before it can even begin to be developed anew. In contrast, if our ego is weak not because we’re self-aggrandising but because we’re excessively self-critical, then the best way for us to strengthen it is to view ourselves with greater kindness, understanding and compassion. As a result of correcting our habitually negative self-talk and coping more successfully with common, everyday obstacles, we would be able to experience a genuinely positive sense of self, one that is as strong and stable as it is reality-based.
OBSERVING THE EGO
In 1965, three psychologists (Arthur A. Miller, Kenneth S. Isaacs, and Ernest A. Haggard) documented awareness of “observing ego”, which is critical to our social functioning. In short, observing ego is a person’s ability to step outside of themselves to observe their actions, affect, defence and motivations, and determine the effect they’re having on whomever they’re interacting with. When effectively observing one’s own ego, the person is able to filter their statements and actions, determining what is socially appropriate behaviour, which then inherently improves their social functionality.
Practising observing one’s ego when alone is important because the brain is listening. To do so, it includes several things to do:
In all of these practices, by observing our ego we can significantly improve on our self-respect, self-worth, and confidence.
In our trainings we always share techniques and exercises that can be incorporated into your daily routine. Even if you don’t set a goal to become a facilitator, you can benefit from our Breathwork and Tantra methods as we will teach you how to utilize their principles to match your personal needs. Find out more here https://innercamp.com/trainings/.
References
Alexander, R. (2010, June 27). What are the limitations of your ego mind? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-wise-open-mind/201007/what-are-the-limitations-your-ego-mind.
Arthur A. Miller, Kenneth S. Isaacs, Ernest A. Haggard (1965) “On The Nature of the Observing Function of the Ego”, The British Psychological Society and British Journal of Medical Psychology
Fukunishi, I., Miguchi, M., & Nishihara, Y. (1996). Influence of ego strength on associations of alexithymia and depression. Psychological reports, 79(3), 999-1005.
Guttman, J. (2021, July 19). How observing your ego can improve your social functionality. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/sustainable-life-satisfaction/202107/how-observing-your-ego-can-improve-your-social.
Henriques, G. (2013, June 27). The Elements of Ego Functioning. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/theory-knowledge/201306/the-elements-ego-functioning.
Henriques, G. (2021, May 28). What is the ego? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/theory-knowledge/202105/what-is-the-ego.
Herber, T. J. (2006). The effects of hypnotic ego strengthening on self-esteem.
Lavertue, N. E., Kumar, V. K., & Pekala, R. J. (2002). The effectiveness of a hypnotic ego-strengthening procedure for improving self-esteem and depression. Australian Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis, 30(1), 1-23.
Leary, M. (2019, May 13). What is the ego, and why is it so involved in my life? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/toward-less-egoic-world/201905/what-is-the-ego-and-why-is-it-so-involved-in-my-life.
Marshall, C., & Langevin, R. (2021). Ego Control Mediates the Effect of Maltreatment on Child Depression. Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma, 1-12.
Park, J. Y., & Woo, C. H. (2020). Mediating Effects of Self-esteem and Ego-resiliency on the Relationship between Social Stigma and Depression in Out-of-school Adolescents. Journal of the Korean Society of School Health, 33(2), 97-105.
Seltzer, L. F. (2008, September 21). Our egos: Do they need strengthening–or shrinking? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/evolution-the-self/200809/our-egos-do-they-need-strengthening-or-shrinking.
Shepherd, R. M., & Edelman, R. J. (2009). The Interrelationship of Social Anxiety with Anxiety, Depression, Locus of Control, Ways of Coping and Ego Strength amongst University Students. College Quarterly, 12(2), n2.
Ziadni, M. S., Jasinski, M. J., Labouvie-Vief, G., & Lumley, M. A. (2017). Alexithymia, defenses, and ego strength: Cross-sectional and longitudinal relationships with psychological well-being and depression. Journal of happiness studies, 18(6), 1799-1813.
